For many women, the decision to be part of the surrogacy process is accompanied or supported by the need to help those couples who, due to infertility or biological disability, cannot conceive children; In addition to this, there are a series of family circumstances that must be taken into account.
Surrogacy: Couple and Family
Becoming a surrogate mother is a totally voluntary and personal decision, that is, it is totally alien to the opinions of the outside. However, this experience is not an easy subject to address impersonally with the family nucleus. The fact of being a surrogate mother entails a prolonged period of time, this time must be deducted from her daily activities, as well as accepting some hormonal changes that the mother experiences during and after the entire pregnancy process.
Effective communication is one of the fundamental pillars when addressing the issue with the family nucleus. The main thing is that the surrogate mother knows all the procedures and times, from the first consultations until her delivery.
It is considered that the possible surrogate mother, before going to a specialized agency, participates to the family nucleus of all the results and processes that may occur, in order that the conditions may arise. If, after psychological tests and exams, you are certified to be a surrogate mother candidate, you are only one final decision away from granting your help to a waiting family.
The way to approach the subject will be subject to the constitution of the family, that is, to the members of the household. In many countries the consent of the husband or spouse is required. Therefore, both must sign a document where they voluntarily approve the decision that has been made and an act of collaboration on the part of both to carry the pregnancy to term.
The husband or spouse agrees, through the signed document, to support the decision of the surrogate mother, understanding that from the beginning of the surrogacy there will be a reduction in time. In addition, one of the regulations to be a surrogate mother is to have had a child in a stable way before. The purpose of this factor is that it is psychologically and physically convenient for the couple to know the whole experience of a pregnancy.
In this way, we focus on the fact that I did not affect the relationship, if both parties communicate beforehand, expressing the points of view of each one. There are relationships in which the couple does not agree, the fundamental thing in this type of case is to know the reasons that lead you to think that way, since you may have erroneous information about surrogacy.
Most of the specialized agencies have professional advice, so that the surrogate couple can opt for training, in order to know the role that the future pregnant woman plays in the whole process.
Emphasizing that the surrogate mother defends the right of those families that cannot gestate without the help of other means, the support of a surrogate mother brings to a new home the light of a child who will maintain genetic information with the intended parents. Seeing surrogacy as an opportunity for humanity, rather than an individual benefit, is the vision that many women consider. And it has been shown that pregnant women with positive thinking towards collaboration have greater capacities and results in the previous and psychological tests they undergo.
For surrogate mothers, where the family nucleus is older, the age of the children and the support they provide at home (whether from the couple or some other member) must be taken into account. Taking care of minors with a pregnancy that is more delicate should be an important point to study. For this reason, linking the partner or some other family member in the process can make the experience more bearable.
In most cases, minors do not understand what is happening, this can affect their self-esteem, if the mother does not offer the care that she previously provided. For these situations, the facts should be raised with a vocabulary that they understand, and involve them without their feelings being affected.
Being a surrogate mother implies constant appointments to the family doctor, regular menstruation for the implantation of the fertilized ovum, verification of a positive pregnancy and subsequent treatment until the birth of the child.
These are stages that all women with previous experience are aware of what it entails, especially due to the hormonal load they must handle. Therefore, addressing the situation at home is essential to help minimize stress, a symptom that can be crucial in reducing any complication throughout the months of pregnancy.
Another reason that affects the family nucleus are the possible complications that the pregnant woman may encounter when practicing surrogacy. This fear in many cases terrifies some members of the family and that is one of the reasons that causes the constant review of the surrogate mother.
The only way in which surrogacy can affect the family nucleus can be to the extent that the necessary preparations are not taken, starting with a communication and breakdown of all the processes that are carried out, from the start of the program with the agency of confidence until the birth of the baby.
For some it is a subject that may take time to assimilate, but the future pregnant woman can always rely on talks with the doctor or get involved in online forums, where thousands of surrogates tell and rely on personal experiences.
Building an enriching path, which will end in the birth of a child for a family with that great dream.